Actually makes for a pretty epic life.
A dreaded illness where I was tired all the time
Going to the store with children wearing onesie pajamas, super hero overlay costume, complete with bed hair
Divorcing my religion
Completing my marriage
Disillusionment with the medical system which I studied in college and then getting into natural and alternative medicine
and many, many more...
After being bed ridden for a year, in pain so excruciating and debilitating that I could not even bear to think (Television really does shut your thinking brain off, by the way…), I had a choice to make.
Summed up beautifully in the words of the song by The Clash, “Should I stay or should I go now? If I go there will be trouble. And if I stay, it will be double.”
Western medicine told me to rest, but I felt my organs shutting down and I was honestly done with being in so much pain and palpable fatigue. Giving into the pull of letting go was alluringly tempting.
But, I had some pretty epic kids, and I wanted to stick around for them. Raising them from my bed was not how I wanted to do it.
I allowed myself to suspend all disbelief and fear and check out the woo-woo offerings people had tried to get me to consider. I was incredulously better after 1 session. I felt the energy in my body shift from leaving it to entering it.
After 3, hour long sessions, in two weeks worth of time, I was completely well.
A YEAR OF EXCRUCIATING PAIN AND BEYOND SUB PAR EXISTENCE, COMPLETELY BETTER WITH 3 TREATMENTS.
I studied energy work in every form, voraciously and in depth, ever after.
I'd become drastically sensitized to energy. I was now feeling energy running through me like most people notice cold water running down their throats on a hot day.
My innate extra sensory gifts were back online after shutting them down in my childhood when I had been told that my eyes, ears, and mind were just playing tricks on me. I had been led to believe that I basically could not trust myself…and now I could.
I studied every modality possible. I used yoga as my vehicle for strengthening my body, as there was nothing else I was strong enough to do. This was a bit of a contrast after having been a collegiate swimmer. I opened up a yoga studio 2 years later sharing the wealth of yumminess my energy and yogic studies had brought to my life.
The body work I provided, Restorative thai partner yoga therapy, taught me first hand that the body stores trauma. I’d unlock pockets of stashed trauma in my clients bodies (hint-this is where your pain/weakness/injuries occur) and see, feel, hear, taste, and smell their memories. This came in pretty handy when I started getting downloads of my own traumas from childhood that were so intense that I’d had complete amnesia around them, until I didn’t. Memory recall rocked my world WITH all my tools and knowledge. I would have thought I was insane without having physically witnessed somatic memories in so many of my clients.
With my new recall presenting some spiritual and emotional work to be experienced, I focused solely on my healing so I could again mother my children in the way I felt they deserved. I shut down my beloved studio, invested in extensive alternative healing trainings, and showed up for all that needed intense loving, compassion, and nurturing. I’ve undergone a drastic letting go, allowing nothing that has presented itself as incompatible with my full health and wellbeing. Which basically looks like doing everything I said I’d never do…I’ve gone into the caves I’ve feared most to reclaim my most precious treasures-wholeness, peace, satisfaction with life.
I now funnel my passionate nurturing, supportive, transformative and aligning energy to the Goddesses who are ready to remember, know themselves on a profoundly sovereign level, process their excess empathic emotions, and unfurl their creatrix potential.
Namaste, dear ones!
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